Wednesday, 13 April 2016

BIG issues - collab with Lou Loves and Marti Stelling.

If people are trying to bring you down, only remember you are above them.
- Anonymous. 

I've been a victim of a lot of things in my life. Grief, sadness... And bullying. As much as I hate to admit it, instead of my writing, or my friends, or anything else in my life, bullying has shaped my life in every way possible.

It didn't seem like a massive problem to me at first. I was just overreacting, worrying about something that didn't matter. I should just focus on my life and ignore them. That's what everyone tells you: ignore them. After all, being called an asshole and a dickhead totally shouldn't get to you.

What a load of bullshit.

I want every person who's ever said that to live in my skin. Or Amanda Todd's. Or anyone else who has been bullied to the point where they're crying every night, wondering if it's normal to feel this way. Wondering if it's normal for people to chase you across roads, threaten to beat you up, tell you that you'll never get anywhere in life.

It still scars me, to this very day.

I couldn't go to school without feeling physically sick. I contemplated self harm and even, at a very low point, suicide.

Ignore them. Laugh it off. Act as if you don't care.

Whenever I hear those words, I want to go punch somebody.

I suppose this is a more depressing post than what I normally do, but this is something I need to post about. I am well and truly past this and can now say that I'm at the happiest point of my life, but this isn't something that's going to disappear. This is something that has and will stay with me for the rest of my life.

And it needs to stop.

(So I know I said that I wasn't posting 'till Monday... But considering how long ago I intended to post this, I figured I should really put this up. I hope you thought about this - enjoyed reading this belongs in another language - and please do check out Marti and Lou )

El xx


  1. Such a wonderful and inspiring post. More people need to acknowledge this issue and tackle it, not just tell them to laugh it off or not care. At the end of the day, you do care, you care what people think of you - some advice is so unhelpful. I had such a great time working with you and Marti. You an 2 of the nicest most wonderful people and I couldn't have asked for nicer to people to work with. Lots of love, Lou xx

    LOU |

    1. Thank you Lou. I agree, it's such a horrible thing and people need to acknowledge it instead of shoving it under the carpet. Everyone cares, really. I did too!Aw thankyou lovely, it has been such a pleasure collabing with you.
      El xx

  2. This post was incredible. You are so so brave for sharing this on your blog, and I really admire you for doing so. I have no idea why people say "Ignore them" - 1) it's impossible and 2) It doesn't help. Bullying is never as simple as ignorance, and people NEED to understand that. It just needs to stop.

    Lots of hugs,

    Alice xxx

  3. You know I've been through this too and I completely get what you say, although I don't quite agree with the ending! I became obsessed with getting so over it it wouldn't affect me in any way, and it was SO WRONG because it felt like I couldn't escape it. It felt like a curse, like I was damned. But it's not a curse. It's a circumstance that has shaped a part of you, and: 1) You are much more than it and 2) You can't choose what happened to you, but you can choose what you make of it. You can choose your perspective. You can use it as a way to get higher. You can do whatever you want with it, and that's your power. It's not about neglecting it, it didn't do any good to me. It's about accepting it as a part of you. We're shaped by the things we've been through, but we're not defined by them. We have to stop seeing it as a burden. Only then will we find relieve! | Acqua xx

  4. Omg you are so totally right. It needs to stop. People need to be raised to take care and value every human they meet and gah, bullying is cruel and horrible and I think sometimes the affects of it can be totally overlooked. Like you said "laugh, walk it off"...that's so true. Like people EXPECT thats just how bullying can be handled? But it really is still a knife and it destroys. :(

  5. you are so brave posting this! Such an inspiring post! Bullying is such a big & serious issue & there's a point where 'just ignore'ing them isn't enough xx

  6. You've been really brave writing about your experiences, I'm sorry you went through such a traumatic experience with bullying , I can't stand bullies and I used to have a very similar life to that you describe but since I went to college life got better because everyone is so mcuh more ,mature and if your not bothering someone they wont bother you :) I really hope things get better for you, thank you for your bravery , think it's aboyut time somebody told the truth about bullying !

    lots of love, Marianne xxx